OT: For the Old Farts on this Board

[gtowndawg]

My wife passed at age 44 in 2008. I have wandered aimlessly since. I did remarry but that is not always great as we are both damaged. Shit happens I guess.

My oldest daughter passed at 39 from cancer in 2019. I have gone into a black hole that I wish on no one.

After my wife's passing, I first bought a motorcycle and road it all across the southern US mostly alone to clear my mind but occasionally I would have a rider. I got complacent and pulled out in front a couple cars and decided to get rid of it. I am not suicidal, I was no longer able to ride safely. What did I do? I bought a freaking airplane and then learned to fly it as there were fewer things to hit up there. I hated flying, it scared the shit out of me every time but I felt alive but had a stroke and lost my health card. I was glad to sell the plane.

I have crested the 60 mark into the last years of my work life. I am wealthy as ever expected to become. I am a high school drop out and frankly I gave up long ago on ever retiring and yet here I am, I own multiple houses, drive a new EV, am respected in my field with a fat 401k for a worker bee and a pension. I could retire today If I wanted to sit down but I won't until... I don't know yet. I know I made a difference and helped others many times. I guess I have that.

Words of wisdom from my late wife, "If it's not Ok, then it's not the end because in the end, everything will be OK." I have not experienced everything is OK yet so it's not over. Any one need mental health counseling? I do and have tried it but I still live with myself.

Good luck with your project, I hope you find your peace where you can.

Thinking about you brother and praying for you. That's a lot to endure. A verse I came across recently that meant a lot to me is Psalm 94:19 "When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer."