As temperatures start to increase PSA

I think most parents, especially parents with 3+ kids, can look back at some instance of negligence in the raising of their kids that could have ended badly.
I once lost track of an 8 year old at Disney World. That could have ended badly and I'm sure I would have been judged as a bad parent by some but I would have also been judged if I had her on a leash.
I'm not equating this to forgetting a child in a locked car but I don't feel it's my place to judge someone that has this happen. My guess is that what they have to deal with for the rest of their life is brutal.
My kids are now 23, 22, and 19 and I'm thankful for getting them through their childhood relatively safely.
Discussions like this are very helpful for parents of small children because its just another reminder of how diligent you have to be to be a parent in this busy world in which we live.

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Originally Posted by Dawg-gone-dawgs

It's sad that parents have to be reminded that their own child is in the damn back seat. Where the hell is their mind?

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Up their---------------

Anyone who thinks they're beyond capable of being distracted is mistaken in my opinion. People today are juggling 10,000,000 tasks between work, parenting, social life, and daily responsibilities. There are days I look up and realize it's 10:00 PM and I haven't slowed down yet. I often get to 2-3 in the afternoon before I realize I missed lunch. It's not that I'm not hungry (I'm always hungry), it's that I'm distracted by the million things going on around me. That said, it's still negligence. No other way to describe it. Happy to see many folks on here have a system in place to prevent this from happening.

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Originally Posted by Political Hack

Anyone who thinks they're beyond capable of being distracted is mistaken in my opinion. People today are juggling 10,000,000 tasks between work, parenting, social life, and daily responsibilities. There are days I look up and realize it's 10:00 PM and I haven't slowed down yet. I often get to 2-3 in the afternoon before I realize I missed lunch. It's not that I'm not hungry (I'm always hungry), it's that I'm distracted by the million things going on around me. That said, it's still negligence. No other way to describe it. Happy to see many folks on here have a system in place to prevent this from happening.

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Yeah, when I hear people get so adamant about it I assume it's because they don't have kids and have no clue or it's that they do have (or had kids) and they recoil at the idea because they subconsciously realize it could happen (or could have happened) to them. Not sure what it looks like in other places, but the four cases I'm aware of in Mississippi, one was someone that probably looked like 80% of this board (or at least a version of them at that age); young married professional with good job. Two were lower class but looked like loving and devastated parent (in one case) and step parent (in the other). Maybe being lower class and stressed contributed to their doing it. And only one (involving daycare workers) made me think that anybody should be in jail. I know there have been more than that, but those are the four I remember.

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Originally Posted by TUSK

Regarding the cell phone, (briefcase or shoe, etc) idea....

Is this to infer that those items are too important or necessary to forget or go without??

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No, you are to infer that they are items that are necessary and frequent contributors to your daily routine, so if you were to leave the car without them, you'd have an immediate reminder that you had forgotten them, whereas you might not think about a child you should have dropped off at daycare until it's time to go home.

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Originally Posted by TUSK

I'm a firm believer that there aren't any "gun accidents"...

Also, I can't imagine forgetting about a baby... but I'm not qualified in that department (as I have none)....

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I can see a gun accident before forgetting your child in the car long enough to kill them. I've never even left milk in the car long enough to spoil.

Although anyone who follows proper gun safety should not have any accidents, unless there is a complete fluke indecent like a ricochet.

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Originally Posted by Political Hack

Anyone who thinks they're beyond capable of being distracted is mistaken in my opinion. People today are juggling 10,000,000 tasks between work, parenting, social life, and daily responsibilities. There are days I look up and realize it's 10:00 PM and I haven't slowed down yet. I often get to 2-3 in the afternoon before I realize I missed lunch. It's not that I'm not hungry (I'm always hungry), it's that I'm distracted by the million things going on around me. That said, it's still negligence. No other way to describe it. Happy to see many folks on here have a system in place to prevent this from happening.

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+1

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Originally Posted by sandwolf

Yea, I haven't looked at any of the research, but I strongly encourage every parent to accept the idea that this can absolutely happen to anybody and to be vigilant about preventing it.

My wife used to take my boy to daycare every day, but every once in a while she would need to go in early and I would need to take him. Well his daycare is at the same exit as my office, and after fighting traffic, listening to the radio, etc. for 30 minutes, there were a couple of times that I just fell back into my normal routine, took the exit and turned right to go to my office instead of turning left to go to daycare.....now I always realized my mistake before getting to my office, but it's not hard to see how a situation like that could end tragically for a great, loving parent with a lot going on at work and a sleeping baby in a rear facing car seat.

We are creatures of habit, so don't take on the mindset that you are above this and that this could only happen to a shitty parent. Every parent should put some type of system in place to prevent this....I put my briefcase in the back seat by the car seat, my wife and I text each other to make sure he got dropped off ok, etc.

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I've done something similar. I have a 3 and 1 year old and in the past, my wife would take them to daycare and on other days I would. One time when it was my day I was halfway to work before I realized my kids were still in the back seat. I called my wife right then and said no more. I will take them every morning from now on. It scared me some kind of bad that it was that close to happening.

We also now do what several others have mentioned which is that I text my wife once I'm leaving the daycare and the kids are dropped off. If she hasn't heard from me by 7:30 she calls.

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Originally Posted by Vetdawg32

I've done something similar. I have a 3 and 1 year old and in the past, my wife would take them to daycare and on other days I would. One time when it was my day I was halfway to work before I realized my kids were still in the back seat. I called my wife right then and said no more. I will take them every morning from now on. It scared me some kind of bad that it was that close to happening.

We also now do what several others have mentioned which is that I text my wife once I'm leaving the daycare and the kids are dropped off. If she hasn't heard from me by 7:30 she calls.

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I could see where this could happen if you have a juggled routine. It would be terrible. I like that you decided to make it a daily routine.
Maybe if there were a ribbon to tie on the steering wheel anytime you had the kids or maybe a window cling you could stick on the door glass to remind you as you exited the car.

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Originally Posted by LC Dawg

I think most parents, especially parents with 3+ kids, can look back at some instance of negligence in the raising of their kids that could have ended badly.
I once lost track of an 8 year old at Disney World. That could have ended badly and I'm sure I would have been judged as a bad parent by some but I would have also been judged if I had her on a leash.
I'm not equating this to forgetting a child in a locked car but I don't feel it's my place to judge someone that has this happen. My guess is that what they have to deal with for the rest of their life is brutal.
My kids are now 23, 22, and 19 and I'm thankful for getting them through their childhood relatively safely.
Discussions like this are very helpful for parents of small children because its just another reminder of how diligent you have to be to be a parent in this busy world in which we live.

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As a parent to a 5 and 2 year old, this rings true to me. Ive read the news stories of this happening and its scary. I dont think my wife or I have ever come close to accidentally leaving them in the car, but I also dont think most of these things happen because the parent is a bad parent. I assume their mind got busy and they are as terrified and horrified as I would be in their situation. I have literally read these stories and prayed that it never happens to me or my wife. That said, I am also not arrogant enough to believe that some series of unfortunate circumstances couldn't happen and I make a life changing mistake, in any of a million ways. I think many of you are spot on. You just have to be ever diligent as parent, all the time, and even then hoping that your innocent mistakes aren't life altering.

You could leave your phone, wallet, briefcase etc int the back with the kids.

I saw a thing where a kid designed some kind of neon strap that goes across the door. You have to unhook it to get out but it reminds you the kid is in the car. You only connect it if they are in the car so it isn't something you get in the habit of unhooking.

Great ideas, will employ a version of these when we start daycare. As Missouridawg said automatic processing plays a huge role in how the brain works. Controlled processing requires attention, which is a precious cognitive resource that can only be allocated one place at a time. Hence why texting and driving is such a problem, you can only attend to one or other. Anybody that thinks they are doing both simultaneously are actually switching attention from one to the other. Not to say I'm not incredibly guilty. If you are attending to something else when you pull into work, whether it be the day's tasks or a phone call or radio show, it requires controlled processing, i.e. effort & attention to check the backseat. Using external methods like the ones described above, rather than relying on your own fallible brain, is the best way to improve your memory.

In a nation of 300+ million people, Shit will happen to some people for no apparent reason other than Shit happens. Best we can do is to recognize that Shit happens and try and reduce the amount of times it occurs.

Type out the words "kids" in 84 font and tape it to your rear view mirror or instrument cluster.

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Originally Posted by starkvegasdawg34

Type out the words "kids" in 84 font and tape it to your rear view mirror or instrument cluster.

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I don't believe that's enough, 34...

Perhaps it should read "Your child is in an oven... Please take out."....

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Originally Posted by TUSK

I don't believe that's enough, 34...

Perhaps it should read "Your child is in an oven... Please take out."....

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"Your kids are not named Hansel and Gretel. Get them out of the back seat you wicked witch."