DeviousDawg
12-04-2019, 12:57 PM
Lets go ahead and get this out of the way...
THE GOOD
1. A Decade of Bowling
That's a yugeeee accomplishment at MSU, it really is, and I believe 10 is a number that will stand for my lifetime, it's just hard to be that consistent(not to get to the bad so quickly, but the streak will not reach 11)
THE BAD
Opening Statement- Midterms: a look back at 2 years ago, and now.
2 years ago, at the end of the last administration, and before the inauguration of the current one, the Mississippi State Bulldogs were preparing for a bowl game with a Running Backs Coach as acting Head Coach, with Grad Assistants helping ass position coaches and even calling plays, a QB with a snapped ankle, and a true freshman kid at QB without his Head Coach in his first start against the Heisman winner and future NFL MVP winner Lamar Jackson. The true freshman kid beat the Heisman/NFL MVP straight up, on the scoreboard, where it mattered. The offense moved efficiently with the RB coach and the true freshman kid at the helm. Down by 10 points or so, they fought back and won, claiming their 9th victory of the season. Excitement was at an all time high with a offensive Guru stepping in as HC, taking over a team that had 9 wins the previous year, brought back a record breaking 5th year senior at QB, and what would be the best defense in the country. Then, it happened, nothing. Nothing happened, we reverted back to Croom level offense under this genius, who all but blamed the 5th year senior for the utter lack of offensive anything. Still, he claimed his offense was the shite and us southerners down here just needed an extra year to catch on. So he brings in his Yankee QB that he groomed himself, who had run 4 years of this offense, and guess what? He was worse than the 5th year senior. Regression, regression, regression, regression, in every aspect, continuously, just look at KT then and now for proof. Now here we are, a piss away from losing to OM and getting 5 wins, but because of a stupid decision by an opponent, we were all but handed the W after only gaining 318 17ing total yards against an untalented swiss cheese defense, and let's not forget about that 4th and 24 debacle, that's coaching, bad coaching, that should NEVER happen. Worst part? we kept the offensive genius, after 25 games of sub-mediocrity, in hopes that it will work next year. It's just sad, no other words to describe it.
1. "You'll have to drag my Yankee ass out of here"-
An alien alienates himself, polls indicate he can't handle the heat, sources close to the family say "he has never cooked in this kind of kitchen".
Looking deeper into his "Yankee ass", prior to being hired at MSU, JoMo had never coached for a school south of Washington DC. In fact, as a playcaller, he had only won 1 regular season game south of Washington DC in his entire career, that was against South Florida when he was the OC at UCONN just before Edsell left for Maryland, not bringing JoMo with him, who without a job, had to accept a demotion to QB Coach before being hired by his Alma Mater as the Head Coach for Fordham. Important, but not widely known, is the fact that the year prior to JoMo taking the Fordham job, they passed a rule allowing them to offer football full scholarships. The kicker? They were the only team within their conference that could offer scholarships. It doesn't make the fact that he turned a 1-11 team into an 11-3 team in 3 years very impressive anymore, when knowing that during that time span they were the only school in their conference offering scholarships. Another tidbit, in his time at Fordham, only once did he play a team south of the Mason Dixon, and that was UT CHATTANOOGA in the FCS playoffs, which was lost before it ever started as JoMo and crew found themselves down 38-0 two minutes into the 2nd half. Sound familiar?. The offense is designed to work against weaker talent, less speed, and northern teams(just slower). Imagine if 1 school in the SEC could pay and offer football recruits cash legally, while none of the other schools had that advantage. Basically you have your pick of the litter. It's really not impressive what he did at Fordham when considering this. Also, every step of the way, he has walked into a situation with an all word RB. At UCONN he had 1ST TEAM ALL-AMERICAN RB Jordan Todman. At Fordham he had NFL rising star Chase Edmonds. An NFL talent playing against essentially D3 walk-ons. Then at Penn State, guess what, he walked into Saquon, then at State? Kylin Hill. He has had the advantage of luckily inheriting an all American RB every stop he has been at, as well as a clear and obvious talent advantage, until now. Now, take all the cloak and daggers off, and his offense is nothing when they are facing equal or god forbid, better talent.
2. Big Pharma continues price gouging.
Tabloids claim MSU head coach JoMo has lost 50 pounds over the last year, rumors suggest he hasn't taken his coaching pills in over a year, causing the weight loss, insiders point to the ridiculous drug prices claiming "he would rather keep all of his money to himself than pay for real help."
3. No, that's not cowbells, but rather the sound of empty promises you hear still ringing in your ears
MSU players were seen in early 2018 getting their ring sizes, championships were imminent according to the Guru. Oddly enough, no such rings appeared, only the ringing of empty promises, and the silence of empty seats and cowbells in the future.
4. The Tutorgate Scandal:
"I believe the time has come to bring that investigation and the other investigations of this matter to an end. One year of Tutorgate is enough." - Richard Nixon, January 30, 1974
According to sources within the program, it is not football related. Okay, according to sources within the program, it is kinda sorta football related. Actually, it is 90%+ football related. In-state rival Ole Miss fans have been heard secretly applauding this approach, as it is their go to. Sources within the program have shared that it will be a super secret about who is suspended and then a super secret about what games they will play. Many believe it will give them a competitive edge as teams don't know who to game plan for. Actually, it doesn't matter, it was all just a big smoke and mirror, woe is me excuse to justify getting whooped by Tennessee with the entire roster available. Sources within the program claim they were oblivious that this was going on, however, they caught the basketball player before the football players, and didn't take care of the situation in a timely manner, before it got out of hand. Transparency is apparently no longer an option.
5. Build the Wall? Whatever happened to locking down the State Border?
Members of the GHAY(give him another year) Party are claiming JoMo is recruiting at a high level. However, in the best signing class in Mississippi's history, MSU only signed about 20% of the SEC talent available in that class, missing on multiple high level prospects to a terrible OM team who was in the middle of probation with a joke for a coach. What's worse, we let almost half of the SEC talent from the best class in MS history, go out of state and sign elsewhere. Where's the wall? it's the proven formula for success. Recruiting Guru? Nah. Just because someone puts in effort doesn't mean they should be applauded, especially when they are making over $3,000,000 a year for it.
6. Midterms roduce upset of the century:
The GHAY(Give him another year) Party holds the House and Senate majority, foreign meddling and domestic deceit rumors run wild. Multiple sources over multiple different platforms claimed to have knowledge that the FHYA(Fire His Yankee Ass) Party had stolen back the house and senate, in a momentous move. However, the computer models missed something. An anonymous source close to the situation claim that the leaders of the FHYA party(The vocal MAJORITY) dropped the ball at the last second, once rumors spread of the upset, people were stunned. How could this happen? it was a done deal? Hanging Chad's? Foreign meddling? Did OM lose purposely like that so we could keep JoMo and they could get rid of their JoMo? Far fetched, at best. The leading rumor is that internally the party fell apart at the finish line, for a variety of reasons, but mostly originating from the gap between their legs.
7. Approval ratings plummet:
JoMo's seat ignites into flames, press conference reveals that he is indeed butt hurt as the medical records show signs of 3rd degree burns on his Yankee ass, experts say it may never heal. In a fit of emotional rage, JoMo went on to tell the loyal through thick and thin investors(average booster) to go kick rocks, and pound sand. Sadly, it's been said that he didn't realize that MSU doesn't kick rocks well, or throw rocks well, never have, however, they do line up in the sand filled trenches and POUND THE ROCK. Sources claim JoMo missed this memo, as he was too busy sizing rings and spouting bull shit.
8. Majority rules?
The FHYA Party was the overwhelming majority from all accounts. In fact, it's been said there were more Southern Mississippi fans than members of the GHAY party. However, when push came to shove, many high up members of the FHYA party couldn't shove, in fact they got shoved, and took it and said here is some more money and an extention. The question remains, does the majority rule? Who rules?
9. Who's in charge here?
Many believe the Illumunati, aka "The Cigar Boyz", are pulling the strings behind the curtain, sources close to the situation say the puppets "in charge" were rushed to the hospital after being ripped in half from being pulled in opposite directions behind the curtain. Tabloids claim that the Cigar Boyz were caught measuring their respective manhoods against one anothers, one anonymous "Cigar Boy" claims to have the largest, 8 others disagree. Unfortunately, while this contest was going on, everything was falling apart, and the indecision, and immaturity of a few leaders, lead to an irresponsible decision, and eventually a sad outcome for the public. I did get word, however, that they are still measuring, and haven't yet realized that it doesn't 17ing matter. You let us all down.
10. Blown Opportunity:
Neighboring and rival school "Ole Miss" gets light hammer, opening a door for MSU to take over the state for good, however, MSU says "hold my beer", then hammers itself repeatedly. 'nuff said.
11. Press controlled by parties: widespread panic among the general public, as rumors spread that the Thanksgiving turkey was actually fried bull shit.
Once again, eerily similar response to that of their rivals to the north. An anonymous supporter of MSU has sent a statement saying, "that's not who we are". Clearly, a reality check is in order, and quite possibly a complete overhaul, top to bottom. The handling of the entire situation was an embarrassment, and has set up only 1 path for MSU football, it's leaders, and the Cigar Boyz, FAILURE. One disgruntled member of the Cigar Boyz has stated that he is deeply saddened by the selfish, foolish, and/or weak minded decisions of his secret organization and it's correspondents. However, the public would like to say, thanks for 17ing us.
12. The Sound of Silence
Widespread frustration turns to apathy, as all the public can do is sit back and watch it all fall down. Multiple FHYA Party sources have cited that the structural issue is internal, and may need to be completely gutted and rebuilt from the inside out in order to avoid utter devastation. On the other hand, the GHAY Party has made a public statement that they believe the best course of action is to ignore the cracks and the crumbling walls, and just reassess the damage a year from now before deciding whether to wait another year or not.
Either way, Jack and Jill Public are forced to sit in the building and watch it all happen. All the while they are waiting on the GHAY party leaders to come in and tell them they can leave, and that they will begin repairing the building, sadly the party leaders don't like making tough decisions, and would rather ignore issues and put them off for another year. When all is said and done, the decision that has been made by the "majority" party's(GHAY) leaders will have long reaching implications, and in the end it won't matter who was a member of which party, the sooner we start all working together to fix this issue, the sooner we can get better. It took 10 years to build this House of Cards, and one blow of smoke from a cigar, or one tough(but easy) decision not made to fix the issue because "they are friends with the building", and it's all gone. Who knows, maybe it will be standing a year from now, but if I was a betting man, and I am, I'd bet it ain't gonna repair itself because it is already too broken, internally and externally. Whatever Vegas sets MSU's win total at for next year, take the under. Maybe if we all pitch in for the greater good, and make a $100 bet each on the under, we will have won enough $$$ by this time next year to repair the buildings ourselves(buyout). Main point is, we need some communication from the powers that be. We aren't just side walk fans, we are investors(boosters) that are looking for no monetary return, just success, because we care. Can we please stop looking like Ole Miss and being sketchy, loose lipped poor leaders? That's not us. So we have made the decision to keep him, terrible decision, but whatever, just don't leave your investors hanging. Coaches and players will come and go as long as football is played. However, the fans, the investors(emotionally and fiscally) we will always be here, no matter what. We need our leaders to be leaders and do the right thing, and they can start doing that by being transparent about this 17ed up situation.
Now let me say this, I do like John Cohen, and I do support him as AD. He is OUR guy, and he is still learning, he is in a tough spot, on paper(record and bowls) JoMo shouldn't be fired, but when you look at his job performance and start checking specific boxes, you'll realize you didn't check any(maybe other than recruiting, but let's not act like he is setting the world on fire on the recruiting trail, lol). In today's world, not doing what you are expected to do, is called not doing your job, it doesn't have to be an effort deal, it could just simply be he wasn't the right guy for the job. As an AD, you have to recognize that and move on ASAP. We blew it, and I am sad. This will set us back years, BECAUSE ITS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE RIGHT FIT. WHYYYY must we continue to try to shove a square peg into a round hole, it's nothing personal Joe, I care about MSU football, and you are not the right guy to lead us where we are trying to go. Everyone on this board that claimed he was gone, got that information from someone "in charge" don't blame the people who carry the information, blame the people who give it to them, and then take it back.
In closing, I will leave y'all with this quote.
"To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day". - Winston Churchill
THE GOOD
1. A Decade of Bowling
That's a yugeeee accomplishment at MSU, it really is, and I believe 10 is a number that will stand for my lifetime, it's just hard to be that consistent(not to get to the bad so quickly, but the streak will not reach 11)
THE BAD
Opening Statement- Midterms: a look back at 2 years ago, and now.
2 years ago, at the end of the last administration, and before the inauguration of the current one, the Mississippi State Bulldogs were preparing for a bowl game with a Running Backs Coach as acting Head Coach, with Grad Assistants helping ass position coaches and even calling plays, a QB with a snapped ankle, and a true freshman kid at QB without his Head Coach in his first start against the Heisman winner and future NFL MVP winner Lamar Jackson. The true freshman kid beat the Heisman/NFL MVP straight up, on the scoreboard, where it mattered. The offense moved efficiently with the RB coach and the true freshman kid at the helm. Down by 10 points or so, they fought back and won, claiming their 9th victory of the season. Excitement was at an all time high with a offensive Guru stepping in as HC, taking over a team that had 9 wins the previous year, brought back a record breaking 5th year senior at QB, and what would be the best defense in the country. Then, it happened, nothing. Nothing happened, we reverted back to Croom level offense under this genius, who all but blamed the 5th year senior for the utter lack of offensive anything. Still, he claimed his offense was the shite and us southerners down here just needed an extra year to catch on. So he brings in his Yankee QB that he groomed himself, who had run 4 years of this offense, and guess what? He was worse than the 5th year senior. Regression, regression, regression, regression, in every aspect, continuously, just look at KT then and now for proof. Now here we are, a piss away from losing to OM and getting 5 wins, but because of a stupid decision by an opponent, we were all but handed the W after only gaining 318 17ing total yards against an untalented swiss cheese defense, and let's not forget about that 4th and 24 debacle, that's coaching, bad coaching, that should NEVER happen. Worst part? we kept the offensive genius, after 25 games of sub-mediocrity, in hopes that it will work next year. It's just sad, no other words to describe it.
1. "You'll have to drag my Yankee ass out of here"-
An alien alienates himself, polls indicate he can't handle the heat, sources close to the family say "he has never cooked in this kind of kitchen".
Looking deeper into his "Yankee ass", prior to being hired at MSU, JoMo had never coached for a school south of Washington DC. In fact, as a playcaller, he had only won 1 regular season game south of Washington DC in his entire career, that was against South Florida when he was the OC at UCONN just before Edsell left for Maryland, not bringing JoMo with him, who without a job, had to accept a demotion to QB Coach before being hired by his Alma Mater as the Head Coach for Fordham. Important, but not widely known, is the fact that the year prior to JoMo taking the Fordham job, they passed a rule allowing them to offer football full scholarships. The kicker? They were the only team within their conference that could offer scholarships. It doesn't make the fact that he turned a 1-11 team into an 11-3 team in 3 years very impressive anymore, when knowing that during that time span they were the only school in their conference offering scholarships. Another tidbit, in his time at Fordham, only once did he play a team south of the Mason Dixon, and that was UT CHATTANOOGA in the FCS playoffs, which was lost before it ever started as JoMo and crew found themselves down 38-0 two minutes into the 2nd half. Sound familiar?. The offense is designed to work against weaker talent, less speed, and northern teams(just slower). Imagine if 1 school in the SEC could pay and offer football recruits cash legally, while none of the other schools had that advantage. Basically you have your pick of the litter. It's really not impressive what he did at Fordham when considering this. Also, every step of the way, he has walked into a situation with an all word RB. At UCONN he had 1ST TEAM ALL-AMERICAN RB Jordan Todman. At Fordham he had NFL rising star Chase Edmonds. An NFL talent playing against essentially D3 walk-ons. Then at Penn State, guess what, he walked into Saquon, then at State? Kylin Hill. He has had the advantage of luckily inheriting an all American RB every stop he has been at, as well as a clear and obvious talent advantage, until now. Now, take all the cloak and daggers off, and his offense is nothing when they are facing equal or god forbid, better talent.
2. Big Pharma continues price gouging.
Tabloids claim MSU head coach JoMo has lost 50 pounds over the last year, rumors suggest he hasn't taken his coaching pills in over a year, causing the weight loss, insiders point to the ridiculous drug prices claiming "he would rather keep all of his money to himself than pay for real help."
3. No, that's not cowbells, but rather the sound of empty promises you hear still ringing in your ears
MSU players were seen in early 2018 getting their ring sizes, championships were imminent according to the Guru. Oddly enough, no such rings appeared, only the ringing of empty promises, and the silence of empty seats and cowbells in the future.
4. The Tutorgate Scandal:
"I believe the time has come to bring that investigation and the other investigations of this matter to an end. One year of Tutorgate is enough." - Richard Nixon, January 30, 1974
According to sources within the program, it is not football related. Okay, according to sources within the program, it is kinda sorta football related. Actually, it is 90%+ football related. In-state rival Ole Miss fans have been heard secretly applauding this approach, as it is their go to. Sources within the program have shared that it will be a super secret about who is suspended and then a super secret about what games they will play. Many believe it will give them a competitive edge as teams don't know who to game plan for. Actually, it doesn't matter, it was all just a big smoke and mirror, woe is me excuse to justify getting whooped by Tennessee with the entire roster available. Sources within the program claim they were oblivious that this was going on, however, they caught the basketball player before the football players, and didn't take care of the situation in a timely manner, before it got out of hand. Transparency is apparently no longer an option.
5. Build the Wall? Whatever happened to locking down the State Border?
Members of the GHAY(give him another year) Party are claiming JoMo is recruiting at a high level. However, in the best signing class in Mississippi's history, MSU only signed about 20% of the SEC talent available in that class, missing on multiple high level prospects to a terrible OM team who was in the middle of probation with a joke for a coach. What's worse, we let almost half of the SEC talent from the best class in MS history, go out of state and sign elsewhere. Where's the wall? it's the proven formula for success. Recruiting Guru? Nah. Just because someone puts in effort doesn't mean they should be applauded, especially when they are making over $3,000,000 a year for it.
6. Midterms roduce upset of the century:
The GHAY(Give him another year) Party holds the House and Senate majority, foreign meddling and domestic deceit rumors run wild. Multiple sources over multiple different platforms claimed to have knowledge that the FHYA(Fire His Yankee Ass) Party had stolen back the house and senate, in a momentous move. However, the computer models missed something. An anonymous source close to the situation claim that the leaders of the FHYA party(The vocal MAJORITY) dropped the ball at the last second, once rumors spread of the upset, people were stunned. How could this happen? it was a done deal? Hanging Chad's? Foreign meddling? Did OM lose purposely like that so we could keep JoMo and they could get rid of their JoMo? Far fetched, at best. The leading rumor is that internally the party fell apart at the finish line, for a variety of reasons, but mostly originating from the gap between their legs.
7. Approval ratings plummet:
JoMo's seat ignites into flames, press conference reveals that he is indeed butt hurt as the medical records show signs of 3rd degree burns on his Yankee ass, experts say it may never heal. In a fit of emotional rage, JoMo went on to tell the loyal through thick and thin investors(average booster) to go kick rocks, and pound sand. Sadly, it's been said that he didn't realize that MSU doesn't kick rocks well, or throw rocks well, never have, however, they do line up in the sand filled trenches and POUND THE ROCK. Sources claim JoMo missed this memo, as he was too busy sizing rings and spouting bull shit.
8. Majority rules?
The FHYA Party was the overwhelming majority from all accounts. In fact, it's been said there were more Southern Mississippi fans than members of the GHAY party. However, when push came to shove, many high up members of the FHYA party couldn't shove, in fact they got shoved, and took it and said here is some more money and an extention. The question remains, does the majority rule? Who rules?
9. Who's in charge here?
Many believe the Illumunati, aka "The Cigar Boyz", are pulling the strings behind the curtain, sources close to the situation say the puppets "in charge" were rushed to the hospital after being ripped in half from being pulled in opposite directions behind the curtain. Tabloids claim that the Cigar Boyz were caught measuring their respective manhoods against one anothers, one anonymous "Cigar Boy" claims to have the largest, 8 others disagree. Unfortunately, while this contest was going on, everything was falling apart, and the indecision, and immaturity of a few leaders, lead to an irresponsible decision, and eventually a sad outcome for the public. I did get word, however, that they are still measuring, and haven't yet realized that it doesn't 17ing matter. You let us all down.
10. Blown Opportunity:
Neighboring and rival school "Ole Miss" gets light hammer, opening a door for MSU to take over the state for good, however, MSU says "hold my beer", then hammers itself repeatedly. 'nuff said.
11. Press controlled by parties: widespread panic among the general public, as rumors spread that the Thanksgiving turkey was actually fried bull shit.
Once again, eerily similar response to that of their rivals to the north. An anonymous supporter of MSU has sent a statement saying, "that's not who we are". Clearly, a reality check is in order, and quite possibly a complete overhaul, top to bottom. The handling of the entire situation was an embarrassment, and has set up only 1 path for MSU football, it's leaders, and the Cigar Boyz, FAILURE. One disgruntled member of the Cigar Boyz has stated that he is deeply saddened by the selfish, foolish, and/or weak minded decisions of his secret organization and it's correspondents. However, the public would like to say, thanks for 17ing us.
12. The Sound of Silence
Widespread frustration turns to apathy, as all the public can do is sit back and watch it all fall down. Multiple FHYA Party sources have cited that the structural issue is internal, and may need to be completely gutted and rebuilt from the inside out in order to avoid utter devastation. On the other hand, the GHAY Party has made a public statement that they believe the best course of action is to ignore the cracks and the crumbling walls, and just reassess the damage a year from now before deciding whether to wait another year or not.
Either way, Jack and Jill Public are forced to sit in the building and watch it all happen. All the while they are waiting on the GHAY party leaders to come in and tell them they can leave, and that they will begin repairing the building, sadly the party leaders don't like making tough decisions, and would rather ignore issues and put them off for another year. When all is said and done, the decision that has been made by the "majority" party's(GHAY) leaders will have long reaching implications, and in the end it won't matter who was a member of which party, the sooner we start all working together to fix this issue, the sooner we can get better. It took 10 years to build this House of Cards, and one blow of smoke from a cigar, or one tough(but easy) decision not made to fix the issue because "they are friends with the building", and it's all gone. Who knows, maybe it will be standing a year from now, but if I was a betting man, and I am, I'd bet it ain't gonna repair itself because it is already too broken, internally and externally. Whatever Vegas sets MSU's win total at for next year, take the under. Maybe if we all pitch in for the greater good, and make a $100 bet each on the under, we will have won enough $$$ by this time next year to repair the buildings ourselves(buyout). Main point is, we need some communication from the powers that be. We aren't just side walk fans, we are investors(boosters) that are looking for no monetary return, just success, because we care. Can we please stop looking like Ole Miss and being sketchy, loose lipped poor leaders? That's not us. So we have made the decision to keep him, terrible decision, but whatever, just don't leave your investors hanging. Coaches and players will come and go as long as football is played. However, the fans, the investors(emotionally and fiscally) we will always be here, no matter what. We need our leaders to be leaders and do the right thing, and they can start doing that by being transparent about this 17ed up situation.
Now let me say this, I do like John Cohen, and I do support him as AD. He is OUR guy, and he is still learning, he is in a tough spot, on paper(record and bowls) JoMo shouldn't be fired, but when you look at his job performance and start checking specific boxes, you'll realize you didn't check any(maybe other than recruiting, but let's not act like he is setting the world on fire on the recruiting trail, lol). In today's world, not doing what you are expected to do, is called not doing your job, it doesn't have to be an effort deal, it could just simply be he wasn't the right guy for the job. As an AD, you have to recognize that and move on ASAP. We blew it, and I am sad. This will set us back years, BECAUSE ITS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE RIGHT FIT. WHYYYY must we continue to try to shove a square peg into a round hole, it's nothing personal Joe, I care about MSU football, and you are not the right guy to lead us where we are trying to go. Everyone on this board that claimed he was gone, got that information from someone "in charge" don't blame the people who carry the information, blame the people who give it to them, and then take it back.
In closing, I will leave y'all with this quote.
"To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day". - Winston Churchill