OT: Post Father's Day challenge

[Coach 57]

I normally don't do off topic discussions/posts but I felt impressed to do one on this Monday after Father's Day. So to the dads who are out there did you know just how important your role in the home is? I once thought I knew, but over the years of teaching both younger men and adult men I have come to start to see that a lot of the issues in our country can be attributed to the lack of REAL fathers in our nation. I know on a message board that's dominated with all/most things MSU that this thought is a sobering thought but again I feel this is a very PRESSING issue today. Look at the statistics if you aren't convinced of JUST how powerful our presence in the home (or lack thereof) can be. Look at drop outs, chemical dependency, those that are incarcerated, rapists, murders, suicides and the list can go on and on of dad's who are NOT involved in the development of our children. Fathers if you have daughters, they will grow and SEEK a man based on how you lead. Also if you have a son, how you treat your wife and the things he sees you do (80+% behavior is caught not taught) he ALSO will do. I know some don't agree (or perhaps DO agree) that the Bible is the ACTUAL Word of God (as I do), when sin fell on Eden it was when Adam (not Eve) ate of the fruit not Eve, and when it happened it was ADAM God came looking for. It will one day be the same here after we die, we (as husbands and Fathers) will be judge by a more strict criteria than our wives. So my challenge to you this day is this: care as to how you treat your wife and lead (as we are called to be servant leaders) KNOWING THAT IT MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE! I love my dad, and when we were younger (my brother and I) we would see our dad come home from his 10-12hr shift and be emotionally and physically vacated from us. Then on Saturday, since he "worked all week" he did what he wanted to do (drink beer and hang out with his buddies). We grew up thinking we were "less than" important than those things and after a while sought people or things that wanted our attention (VERY DANGEROUS). I grew up vowing to NEVER be devoid in my home and would always take time for my kids and as I got older, I realized I had it ALL WRONG! My first priority was my kids when in fact SHOULD HAVE been my wife, then helping them (our kids...1 boy & 1 girl) understand that mom was to take presidence and then them. Then they will understand the value of marriage and how we all work together. And lastly I challenge you to show both your wives and your kids more physical affection. Kiss your wife on the mouth while she is washing dishes or while you are on the grill slinging those burgers IN FRONT of your kids. If you have a little girl, her eyes will LIGHT up and if you have a son he will see that you love her and BOTH will seek that as they seek out a spouse. Our kids for some reason are hard wired from birth to think that they need to EARN your physical affection, approval or our support, it should NOT be so. We should always give our kids physical displays of affection, even if they are older and just want a fist bump or a high five rather than a hug or a kiss. So in closing men, I pray that someone (even if it's just one) will read this and feel challenged as I was years ago when i started implementing it into my own home. I'm not asking you guys to practice something that I myself won't do. God bless you guys, and GIRD UP THY LOINS!

[confucius say]

Well said. Country is headed straight to hell if males don't start raising their kids correctly. Biggest problem society has.

[Martianlander]

Excellent post!

[drunkernhelldawg]

If you don't want to hear it, don't say it. If you don't want to see it, don't do it.

Great post, Coach57. I'm glad to know some men out there are showing young people what real masculinity is. Good luck with your current hard cases.

[BulldogBear]

+1000000 Coach

[Interpolation_Dawg_EX]

Careful coach, some might say that sounds a little too "traditional" or you shouldn't be telling them how to raise their kids. I wish more attention could be given to topics like this that matter instead of some petty bs that hurt someone's feelings.

[Coach 57]

One thing I've come to see and know is that as a dad my kids REALLY care how I view them. I've been guilty in the past of focusing much of my attention to things that don't really even matter. I love football, but a greater investment is MY family that God has blessed me with. I think the most boldly profound thing I've ever heard is when I heard a man give his testimony and he said "your pastor, your kid's youth director or even your church's worship leader if they are your home's spiritual leader they are better father's than you are!" It stung me, it hurt...why because at that point in my life it was TRUE! Hearing those words helped change my life and the way I parent. I echo those same words to those that hear this. If I get banned, lose "respect" or my "popularity points" go down I could care less. This is truth.

[drunkernhelldawg]

Careful coach, some might say that sounds a little too "traditional" or you shouldn't be telling them how to raise their kids. I wish more attention could be given to topics like this that matter instead of some petty bs that hurt someone's feelings.

You're right about how much the issue matters. With the breakup of families so common, we face the prospect of a generation that values only materialism and ego. A generation without love. We also need to value, respect, and glorify all kinds of loving families, not just those that come from our narrow personal traditions.

[Barking 13]

Great post, as most of yours are... In celebrating Father's Day yesterday, my son (almost 30) posted a pic of us together on FB and said that he respected me because I ALWAYS had his back even if he didn't know or realize it at the time... I raised him a good bit differently than my Dad did me, but I understood as I got older why he did the things he did, and it was because of the way he was raised. So, I decided when I had my son I vowed to myself that I would be different toward him (more patience, and spend more time with him). My Dad always showed my Mother the respect she deserved, and that was one condition that I continued. My son is a good father to my grandson and, like you said, you can tell it in the way he is with his family.. I am proud and blessed.

[Dawgcentral]

In watching my father, I had a great example of what a man should be in this world. Nit that he wasn't flawed at times, but as I've grown older I've come to understand that those flaws came from his desire to make our lives better then his.

There was a time in my youth where I declared to him how important my friends were to me, even though running with them was causing problems. He told me, " Son, I'm the best friend you'll ever have", and while I know you have to be a parent first and foremost,..he was talking about how he KNEW what I was dealing with, but how I needed to consider that his advice would carry me though those years, not my friendships.

My Dad will always be my hero.

[Coach 57]

Guys this stuff is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your hearts.