Interesting scenario I saw on Facebook

[Coach34]

(Yes this is OT- I'll move it there in a little while)

Guy I've known from childhood- not a good friend by any means- is going thru one of those situations you dont see everyday.

Dude finds out his wife is cheating on him after 10 or so years of marriage, they have kids....so you know it was a tough time to be going thru. THEN his wife is diagnosed with cancer a couple of days later- and may not live.

A. Do you forgive and help her thru this tough time?
B. Do you move out but remain supportive?
C. Do you jump for joy that you have a good life insurance policy in place?

Interesting scenario

[601Dawg]

C. jump for joy that you have a good life insurance policy in place?

[hailmari]

Wow, that's a real turd-in-the-fan situation.. It'd depend on how old the kids are for me, they need the support too. But no way I'm still sleeping in the same bed with her.

[BeastMan]

Holy shit. My 1rst impulse is screw that bitch and let the guy she cheated with take care of her. That said, looking at the mother of my children dying would probably impact my heart/actions greatly

[Coach34]

Wow, that's a real turd-in-the-fan situation.. It'd depend on how old the kids are for me, they need the support too. But no way I'm still sleeping in the same bed with her.

kids are about 10 and 5

[FISHDAWG]

forgive her if she is genuinely remorseful and consider the kids .... I know more than one friend who has been through this (minus the cancer) and the result of reconciliation was worth it for both of them ... the marriage was better after the affair ... flip side to that coin is the fact that I know other guys who tried but just couldn't get past it and their marriages faded into oblivion .... moral here is you have to try first in order to know the end result

[FlabLoser]

A

[Esmerelda Villalobos]

(Yes this is OT- I'll move it there in a little while)

Guy I've known from childhood- not a good friend by any means- is going thru one of those situations you dont see everyday.

Dude finds out his wife is cheating on him after 10 or so years of marriage, they have kids....so you know it was a tough time to be going thru. THEN his wife is diagnosed with cancer a couple of days later- and may not live.

A. Do you forgive and help her thru this tough time?
B. Do you move out but remain supportive?
C. Do you jump for joy that you have a good life insurance policy in place?

Interesting scenario

you forgive her at this point. If she is going to die, let it go. Hate is a killer. That said, if she lives, leave her.

[DawgInMemphis]

you forgive her at this point. If she is going to die, let it go. Hate is a killer. That said, if she lives, leave her.

Forgive her. Forgiveness isn't for their sakes, its for yours. Without forgiveness, you become bitter. Bitter slowly turns to hatred, and can make you a miserable person. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do - in many cases it can be incredibly difficult, but in the long run it's much better than the alternative.

My .02

[Marooned]

C. All day. Stay. Be supportive. Be there for her. Then reap the benefits of all the sympathy poon he will get when the slut dies.

[Goat Holder]

Forgive her, but I'd want some answers. However with a woman you'll never really get them, at least not overtly. I really don't think you have any other choice at this point but to forgive. This is terrible advice and I'd never give it to anyone, but I'd probably go run through a few skanks on the downlow just to clear my head and get rid of any anger.

Get through this period, and if she lives, I'd probably leave her.

[ghostofjackie]

A. You forgive her and then go sleep with another woman. That one you have been eyeing for years but can't act because you have been married. If she finds out she can't say shit.

Terrible situation for the kids though.

[fishwater99]

Question. Did the wife ask for his forgiveness and show remorse?

If so, I think you would have to try to forgive her. Would be hard to forget.

[DawgInMemphis]

"You forgive her and then go sleep with another woman. That one you have been eyeing for years but can't act because you have been married."

If you're eying other women and want to sleep with them you probably shouldn't be married in the first place.

"If so, I think you would have to try to forgive her. Would be hard to forget."

Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting.

[HereComesTheSpiral]

Going with C. I wouldn't want to stick around with her and she beat the cancer and then throw me out like a used tampon. I also would not want to give her the impression that there is a future and leave if she beats it and she commits suicide. Don't want that on my conscience. I say leave and be there for the kids.

[angusyoung]

You nut up and do what's best for the kids. to me that's helping them through living with the death of their mother and making sure they have a positive memory of her after she is gone. any hatred he has for her and what she did will go by the wayside after she is gone but emotional damage done to the kids caused by parents divorcing and one dying could never be repaired.

[Interpolation_Dawg_EX]

D: Judge to the face

[Esmerelda Villalobos]

Forgive her. Forgiveness isn't for their sakes, its for yours. Without forgiveness, you become bitter. Bitter slowly turns to hatred, and can make you a miserable person. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do - in many cases it can be incredibly difficult, but in the long run it's much better than the alternative.

My .02

agree. Forgiveness is for yourself. Hate will kill a person. Learned that the hard way early in life.

[J-Dawg]

Question. Did the wife ask for his forgiveness and show remorse?

If so, I think you would have to try to forgive her. Would be hard to forget.

This is my take. It all depends on if she genuinely asks for forgiveness/shows remorse. And not just b/c she's dying. Does she mean it regardless of those circumstances?

[Coach34]

This is my take. It all depends on if she genuinely asks for forgiveness/shows remorse. And not just b/c she's dying. Does she mean it regardless of those circumstances?


The guy is sticking by her and helping her- so my guess is that she showed remorse

[Original48]

FISHDAWG and angus have the right answers.

[Hump4Hoops]

Be honest with her - that you're romantically finished, but you'll do everything you can to be supportive for the kids.

Lie to the kids. If mommy dies, she was a saint. If she lives, the divorce won't happen until she's better.

Shitty situation all around, but that's the only scenario I think I'd be strong enough to live in.

[dickiedawg]

Dude finds out his wife is cheating on him after 10 or so years of marriage, they have kids.

A. Do you forgive and help her thru this tough time?
B. Do you move out but remain supportive?
C. Do you jump for joy that you have a good life insurance policy in place?



It's an interesting situation, indeed. This sounds like an ongoing thing, as opposed to a one-off, which would be a lot harder to forgive. I've never been through this, but I'd say if you love her you have to try and reconcile. Especially since there are children involved.

That said, C. is a healthy fallback option.

[BogeyGolfer]

There are a lot of variables involved but based on what you've stated, I would leave but support her and the kids. I wouldn't live with her or sleep in the same bed. Sorry, I'm one of those guys that couldn't get past my wife banging some other dude. I would never trust her again, I trust few people now. But as a man, you have to man up and support your kids.

[ckDOG]

(Yes this is OT- I'll move it there in a little while)

Guy I've known from childhood- not a good friend by any means- is going thru one of those situations you dont see everyday.

Dude finds out his wife is cheating on him after 10 or so years of marriage, they have kids....so you know it was a tough time to be going thru. THEN his wife is diagnosed with cancer a couple of days later- and may not live.

A. Do you forgive and help her thru this tough time?
B. Do you move out but remain supportive?
C. Do you jump for joy that you have a good life insurance policy in place?

Interesting scenario

A, but it would obviously be damn tough. I will add this though. He should send some medical bills to the guy involved and see how he reacts. Wifey doesn't have to know, but that will answer some unanswered questions for your buddy that may be useful knowledge in the future. If he's willing to pay, that probably means they were close and she was planning on leaving. If he's not, it was a fling. Not suggesting that a fling is easily forgivable, but it would give your buddy some knowledge as to whether the marriage is truly repairable if she makes it through her illness.