Quote Originally Posted by BrunswickDawg View Post
A history of Dan Mullen:

2009 - 100% Dan - we are respectable, hard nosed, 5-7, 1 play away from an LSU upset and a bowl and a BS holding call against Houston that negated a touchdown from possibly even better.

2010 - 100% Dan - 9-4 - and a BS 1st spot by AU and a BS illegal forward pass call vs. Arky away from 10-2 regular season.
Late 2010 - Dan blows Miami interview because "he thinks he invented football"

2011 - Sulky Dan 50% - 7-6 - Stuck where he doesn't want to be, gets hosed again by Auburn, gives up season until realizing he has to beat OM to make a bowl. Kicks OM ass to make bowl.

2012 -Pissy Dan 85% - 8-5 - Dan realizes to get interviews this year, he needs to win. 7-0 "We believe". Starts looking, shits bed against Bama, LSU, A&M, OM. Losses job offers. Really gives no shits in Gator as Russell throws 2,000 INTS in a winnable game with Dak on the bench.

2013 - Sulky Dan 50% - 7-6 -Stuck again, Dan looks clueless in OSU opener trying get Russell killed running read option. Hosed again by BS against Auburn, Dan gives up but Dak wills us to enough wins to make a Bowl and 7-6.

2014 - Rockstar Dan 90% - 10-3 - Dan realizes he has all the tools he needs to make a run at a new job and "nobody knows what is about to take this field" - Team whips holy ass and becomes #1. Dan puckers up at Bama and becomes Sulky Dan for rest of season. Shits bed against Ole Miss and GT. Dan gets no job.

2015 - Check Down Dan 75% - 9-4 - Dan figures he can turn Dak into an NFL star. Does so, but cares about only that and getting a new job. A kick against LSU away from another 10 win season. Dan starts looking late, and a Bama loss, a lucky win vs Arky, and an OM shit show ensue.
Dan gets stuck in Stark again after Richt snakes Miami from him.

2016 - Bitch Dan 25% - 6-7 - Dan gives so few shits hires Sirmon and he can't decide on a QB. Locker room splits. Some fans think Fitz is prettyboy/gay/party boy with no heart and leadership, Staley is a clown, and Dam Williams is the future. Fitz shows everyone who's boss, wills us to 5 wins, and our GPA saves us for a bowl and win 6.

2017 - Judas Dan 85% - 9-4 - Dan realizes he has a power running game and another future NFL QB but actually needs a defense. Gives everyone wood by hiring Grantham and adding JUCO talent. Dan puckers up against UGA and AU, but they are damn good. Coaches best game against Bama and almost wins. Is determined to get out and almost loses to a terrible Arky team, then is dreaming of orange creamsicle and blue tick hounds while OM plays one of the dirtiest games in history. Dan wakes up sometime in the 4th quarter and starts calling plays again but by then it's too late. Scott Stricklin phones a friend after being laughed at by everyone else, and Dan ****s him for way too much money.

-fin-
One correction, Dan was going to Maryland in 2015 before he started flirting with Miami. He tried to string along Maryland while he found out about Miami but Maryland got tired of his bullshit and hired someone else. What he did to UT was what he was doing to Maryland, Miami ended up hiring Richt and Maryland didn't wait around. This all comes from a high up Maryland grad that had no connection to MSU.

Edit to add: It really makes sense now that he did the exact same thing to UT, he just didn't get the Miami job.