List as many as you can:

'' The use of interpretive finger painting in lieu of the written ACT test is totally acceptable. Sorry our investigators viewed it otherwise. ''

''Clearly your school's football team has been unfairly tainted by the wanton recklessness of your rogue Women's Basketball team. You may go and feel free to take extra mints at the snack bar.''

''We totally understand the gas mask was actually part of a campus civil defense plan in the event of a North Korean nuclear attack. We applaud Mr. Tunsil contacting a coach seeking funds to buy extra filters for his teammates. Please, plan on going to a bowl game this year. ''

''Oh...my goodness, these handwritten receipts totally prove the athlete paid for his own car. My gosh, you guys go home and forget we even asked you to come to this hearing.''