Quote Originally Posted by somebodyshotmypaw View Post
Oxford, MS 2053: Today the University of Mississippi received a 47th Amendment to the Notice of Allegations from the NCAA. The university now will hopefully go in front of the Committee on Infractions in the coming year where they will have to answer for the unprecedented 71,312 Level I violations. "Mistakes were made", says head coach Beauregard "Little Beaver" Freeze, son of legendary coach Hugh Freeze. "This university never received punishment during my dad's tenure because he would never quit cheating long enough for the NCAA to actually close the case. Maybe soon it will come to a conclusion."

Sources from within the NCAA say that Ole Miss may never get punished. "The NCAA could file bankruptcy soon and be dissolved. The financial resources they have spent trying to keep pace with such an elaborate cheating system in Oxford have depleted NCAA funds" according to one source. The source goes on to say that the cheating was unlike anything the NCAA had ever witnessed. "Prostitutes for players, cars, cash, were freely given away. Coach Freeze was even given 6000 feet of dental floss in direct violation of NCAA rules". The NCAA could not be reached for comment.
This deserves that clapping thing