Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: OT: Dealing with Loss

  1. #1
    Super Moderator BeastMan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    7,504
    vCash
    3100

    OT: Dealing with Loss

    Yesterday we found out that my wife had lost her first cousin to a motorcycle accident. 26 years old with a 1 year old. My wife's family is huge and is very tight nit so they are taking this very hard. They are grieving heavily and everyone is posting pics and memories on FB. They are crushed. Reason I'm posting that here is because it's hit me in the gut too. My last convo with him was at a big family party recently where me and him were off to the side just hanging out by the water. Without going in to great detail, it was the most personal convo I've ever had with the guy. We talked about family in the senses that we were, kids, jobs, future, etc.. I had grown fond of him over the time I've been with my wife. I don't feel like I lost a distant, by-marriage cousin. I feel like I lost my cousin way too early. Me having my first kid on the way and imagining his son not having a dad has been tough. I'm not posting anything on any social media about it because I don't want to take any attention off the immediate family. They're crushed and they need all the attention, thoughts, and prayers. I also feel like the best thing to do is put on a strong front for my wife and be supportive of her in a time of need. I also didn't feel like the main board was appropriate for this either; too many eyes. I've appreciated the guys on this forum so I felt like this is the right place to put it. I'm not asking for prayers or attention, I just want to remind everyone to cherish the time you have with your family and friends around you. Nothing is promised and every day is a blessing. Thanks for hearing me out.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    11,830
    vCash
    3400
    Quote Originally Posted by BeastMan View Post
    Yesterday we found out that my wife had lost her first cousin to a motorcycle accident. 26 years old with a 1 year old. My wife's family is huge and is very tight nit so they are taking this very hard. They are grieving heavily and everyone is posting pics and memories on FB. They are crushed. Reason I'm posting that here is because it's hit me in the gut too. My last convo with him was at a big family party recently where me and him were off to the side just hanging out by the water. Without going in to great detail, it was the most personal convo I've ever had with the guy. We talked about family in the senses that we were, kids, jobs, future, etc.. I had grown fond of him over the time I've been with my wife. I don't feel like I lost a distant, by-marriage cousin. I feel like I lost my cousin way too early. Me having my first kid on the way and imagining his son not having a dad has been tough. I'm not posting anything on any social media about it because I don't want to take any attention off the immediate family. They're crushed and they need all the attention, thoughts, and prayers. I also feel like the best thing to do is put on a strong front for my wife and be supportive of her in a time of need. I also didn't feel like the main board was appropriate for this either; too many eyes. I've appreciated the guys on this forum so I felt like this is the right place to put it. I'm not asking for prayers or attention, I just want to remind everyone to cherish the time you have with your family and friends around you. Nothing is promised and every day is a blessing. Thanks for hearing me out.
    Hate to hear that and am crushed for his wife and kid. Hope y'all are geographically close too so that there will be lots of people to help. When your kid gets here, the magnitude of these type things will probably hit you even harder. Frames everything differently, at least for me, when you think about it from a parent/child perspective. It's pretty tough to think about a one year old looking around the house wondering where his dad is. I've seen my child do that for a recently deceased relative and it was tough, but at least it wasn't a parent.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    101,295
    vCash
    3800
    Blessings for you and your family.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Uncle Ruckus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    466
    vCash
    3700
    I'll say a prayer for you guys

  5. #5
    Senior Member godlluB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Starkville
    Posts
    790
    vCash
    3200
    As someone facing my own imminent mortality, I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about these sorts of things a lot lately and there isn't much anything anyone can say, but you and your family will be in my thoughts.

  6. #6
    Senior Member BrunswickDawg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Home of Slay, GA
    Posts
    11,917
    vCash
    1746501
    Beast - I'm sorry for your loss. Loss of any friend or loved one is difficult, but I will never adjust to the impact of losing kids and young adults. It just seems so wrong that someone never has the chance to experience the life ahead of them. It is doubly so when they have young kids. Now that I am in my mid 40s, and I have my kids starting to head out to the great unknown outside the cocoon of our home (which will thankfully be Starkville), it has even more of an impact because I realize how lucky I am to have been given the gift of 18 years with them. Losses like that resonate for a long time.

    godlluB - great to see you are still fighting the good fight. We are all rooting for you.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator BeastMan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    7,504
    vCash
    3100
    Great to see you around godllub. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers. Love the sailfish you gave Hobie's on Main. I plan on having a beer under it next time I'm up.

    Thanks for all the kind words. I spent yesterday evening at my in-laws house and there was a steady stream of visitors.

  8. #8
    Senior Member SpeckleDawg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Coast
    Posts
    1,081
    vCash
    3100
    Beast, really sorry to hear about that. I hate to think about the young wife and son losing him, as well as the rest of y'all. I'll be praying for y'all, bud.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    4,368
    vCash
    32000
    BeastMan, I'm truly sorry for your family's tragic loss. I know you didn't ask for prayers but they are going up anyway. Y'all take care and hang in there.

  10. #10
    Senior Member SapperDawg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The HSV
    Posts
    711
    vCash
    1005147
    I have had to write several letters to families who's loved one was not coming home. This is hard, but take five minutes and write his son a letter describing how great his father was and the relevant points of your conversation with him about values, family, etc. Seal it for a time when the young man will need it, and make sure someone knows where it is.

  11. #11
    Super Moderator BeastMan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    7,504
    vCash
    3100
    Quote Originally Posted by SapperDawg View Post
    I have had to write several letters to families who's loved one was not coming home. This is hard, but take five minutes and write his son a letter describing how great his father was and the relevant points of your conversation with him about values, family, etc. Seal it for a time when the young man will need it, and make sure someone knows where it is.
    This is some of the best advice I've ever been given. Great idea.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Disclaimer: Elitedawgs is a privately owned and operated forum that is managed by alumni of Mississippi State University. This website is in no way affiliated with the Mississippi State University, The Southeastern Conference (SEC) or the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA). The views and opinions expressed herein are strictly those of the post author and may not reflect the views of other members of this forum or elitedawgs.com. The interactive nature of the elitedawgs.com forums makes it impossible for elitedawgs.com to assume responsibility for any of the content posted at this site. Ideas, thoughts, suggestion, comments, opinions, advice and observations made by participants at elitedawgs.com are not endorsed by elitedawgs.com
Elitedawgs: A Mississippi State Fan Forum, Mississippi State Football, Mississippi State Basketball, Mississippi State Baseball, Mississippi State Athletics. Mississippi State message board.